Steven Hawking said that the universe was created by an accident.
I wish the universe would fix this chair.
Steven Hawking thinks that you shouldn’t mix the science of the universe with real life. He thinks it’s ridiculous. Well, I think that stupid bow tie he wears is ridiculous. It’s a shame that he is so narrow minded. It’s also a shame that he probably gets out more than I do.
Anyway, I think the universe is a lot like real life.
The universe was created by the big bang. And people are created by the big bang too…get it? You know, slam bam thank you ma’am.
Each person born lives in their own personal universe don’t they? I guess some people are accidents and created by an incredibly intense big bang, and some people were planned out and created.
People are like little solar systems. If you are powerful and make a lot of money and are very persuasive, then you are a sun and everyone revolves around you.
If you are delusional and think you are a sun and force everyone to revolve around you , then you are a black hole.
If you just go about life in a go with the flow kind of way, then you are just a planet spinning around and around doing the same old thing year after year.
But if you do your own thing and don’t really fit in with the grand scheme of things then you are just a meager little dwarf planet like Pluto. Pluto is just not good enough to fit in with everyone else. But who cares. Pluto is far more fun than all the other planets.
Okay, since we’re on the subject of planets, I have a theory about Mars. A lot of people think that there is no life on Mars, but there is. They found frozen water on the ice caps. That is evidence number one.
I don’t have any more evidence but I firmly believe that there is subterranean human life underground Mars. The Martian planet is made up of caves much like a stone sponge. But don’t tell NASA about my theory because the word will get out and they’ll be sending rocket ships up there to mess up their nice little eco system.
There is a reason why other planetary systems don’t want to have anything to do with us.
lol I love this. <3 This totally made my night!
Ah, the bow tie!
I’m a physicist and I love your metaphor.
I’m a physicist and I love your metaphor.
Oh, thank God. I was afraid that I had upset a bunch of scientists and they would send evil energy my way. I have two neighbors that are physicists and I always want to get into a nice conversation about physics, but I don’t know how to even start such a conversation. If I say…”Ooh goodie. A physicist, tell me about Physics..” I think I might not be taken seriously.
I hope the universe is a lot like real life! A very funny line – especially in the context of the broken chair. k.
Great post. It’s all about the bang. I always liked Pluto but have wondered why he walks on all fours while Goofy stands up.
Great post. It’s all about the bang. I always liked Pluto but have wondered why he walks on all fours while Goofy stands up.
You see, people have always had something against Pluto. Its just not fair.
I guess the big bang had it coming and going. I wait with bated breath for your explanation of quantum mechanics…. I could never get that stuff figured out. ( smile ) this was a fine post — bw
I guess the big bang had it coming and going. I wait with bated breath for your explanation of quantum mechanics…
Gasp. Quantum Mechanics? I listened to the Feynman Lectures a few times. It sends my head spinning around in circles. If I somehow manage to figure it out, you’ll be the first to know.
I think only about 200 people understand it, everyone else just uses the cheat sheet….
thanks for replying… enjoy your insight…
Wow!!! reading this post was fun.Its witty,humorous and realistic!!!
Cheers!!!
I know a lot of black holes.
That just sounds bad…
Thanks, darling. I really think Hawking is an idiot, too.
Great imagination…that makes sense.
Loved the metaphors! Quite entertaining.
All your posts I’ve read so far have made me laugh out loud! Love your sense of humor
Of course there’s intelligent life on other planets. That’s why they haven’t made contact with us yet! They’re intelligent. We’re like that crazy neighbour who doesn’t know they are mad that everyone — except for, maybe, me — avoids! The whole blasted universe is dodging us! I know it! 😉 lol
It was a super-clever analogy, clo! 💋
Lovely post. (: I believe Europa also has life beneath it’s icy surface, just as Mars might. This is very deep and well written with some good humor in it, good job!
“Lovely post. (: I believe Europa also has life beneath it’s icy surface, just as Mars might. This is very deep and well written with some good humor in it, good job!”
How do you know that the government agencies of outer space aren’t just lying about that?
I did my own studies on Europa. Since Europa is in orbit with Jupiter and Jupiter’s other moon, Lo, it counter reacts Europa’s orbit causing it change into an egg-like shape, then as Europa moves farther away from Jupiter it can relax into it’s spherical form which would cause a heat source, leaving liquid water beneath the ice, that is, if it is actually H20, any other liquids, freeze from the bottom up, unlike water which freezes from the top to the bottom, it would create the possibility for marine life beneath the ice. Although, Europa is the smoothest body in the solar system, that may suggest it it a very youthful moon, thus leaving more primitive life forms, nothing like whales or anything. But I’m not too smart, so my facts may be a bit wrong, I tend to make a lot of mistakes. ^^ But that’s my hypothesis.
Aw, come on, We’ve messed up this planet, we have eight more to go. Wait, make that seven…Pluto was demoted. Oh, never mind, we’ll trash it, too!
Dear clotilda,
I love reading your blogs, your great!!!
Luv’
Tazein
good astro – philosophy, i liked it.
Such fun to read your posts! love them!
You always have a way of making something funny and interesting to read
I loved this post!
There must be life elsewhere, we can’t be the only ones. I find the whole existence thing fascinating. How? When? Why? If I was to sit and think too much about it all I would go mad. (OK… madder) You have got me thinking now with your great take on it all. A very interesting post Clotilda. Love from Chris
They’re planning a trip to Mars in 2030! And it’s going to be a vegan journey!
The 2030 trip to Mars is going to be a cannabalistic journey if it turns out anything like the movies that I’ve seen.
Informative post dear ! you collected a lot !
So there’s water on Mars? I suppose we’ll soon see some $5.00 bottles of imported Martian water.
I am actually a spokesman for the Martian Moon Water corporation. Yes, they’ve bottled the water, but unfortunately it costs about a thousand dollars a bottle. There is a lot of overhead in this business. Gas prices are astronomical these days. By the way, water from Mars is guaranteed to make you live longer, run faster, and make your complexion shine like the Carolina sunshine.
Such a good piece, Clotilda. Great metaphors. I’m a bit of an astronomy nerd, too, so I loved it. People were created by a big bang too. Priceless!
The rover is actually Martian, NASA just hacked into it and won’t admit it…
Are you trying to tell me that NASA never actually sent a rover to Mars? I know people who don’t believe that they went to the moon either. They say that the whole thing was staged by Hollywood.
Haha, no, I was (sadly) joking…
That although Steven Hawking said the universe was created by an accident, I love this universe and I like what you are thinking and writing. Thank you for share a difficult thing and useful. You are great.
This is the first thing I’ve read this morning. Bang! Thanks for getting my day started with a dose of metaphysical awareness.
Clotil, love your daily posts. Don’t know why but something tells me to give you that song. It grwos on you. http://jobblog2011.wordpress.com/2012/07/04/austria-summoning-land-of-the-dead/
You are right on so many levels! Thanks for a fun read!
No matter the basis of its creation, the universe is an amazing wonder. … Meanwhile, Hawking’s use of time and boundaries is interesting … but deep.
Stephen Hawking and his daughter have written a few kids books together. They are interesting.
funny, and nice pic. I wish I had eyes like that.
The sun is a mass of incandescent gas… and for a moment I thought this would be a lecture on cosmology
Good read!
Do you listen to “They Might be Giants?”
The song goes like this: The sun is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace, where hydrogen is built into helium at a temperature of millions of degrees. The sun is hot, the sun is not a place where we can live….
Ah, I knew that sounded familiar. My favorite is Istanbul not Constantinople…
Ah, I knew that sounded familiar. My favorite is Istanbul not Constantinople…
If you have a date in Constantinople…she’ll be waiting in Istanbul…..Did you know that that is a remake of an old swing song from the 1940s?
Funny post…loved it.
clever similes
Ahhh shucks everyone else said what I was going to…. great remarks ..absolutely wonderful, funny and entertaining . Look forward to reading more.
We were driving back from a music festival LATE one night many many years ago and the radio played “the sun is a mass of incandescent gas” and we all thought we were having a mass hallucination.
I’d like to be comet, but would probably settle for being a wayward asteroid.
love this! especially the “big bang theory” and distant alien species that want to stay far far away from us. No need for 2 planets to have pollution issues
)
I often think that the classic sci-fi scenario where some alien civilization is hell-bent on destroying earth because they’re afraid our violence will one day infect the universe is off. Here’s why. I think any other civilizations who know enough to know about us, to have discovered us in the vast universe, recognize that it is our violence that keeps us from accomplishing those advances that will render us capable of exploring the universe.
hehehe you always brighten my day and crack me up! As for Quantam Mechanics, I owe all I know on the subject from watching the “Big Bang Theory.” I am genius!
“There is a reason why other planetary systems don’t want to have anything to do with us.” <– Very true! Great post.
The sun is an incandescent ball of gas. So’s my ex-wife.
brilliant point and great pic
Who knows? Well, Steven Hawking is a jackass, I know that. You are marvelous!
You know, they did find something interesting on Mars back in the days of the Viking lander. Basically, they set up this ingenious experiment: collect soil, give it food, see if it toots. Well, it did toot, as they suspected, but then some other scientists attributed the toot to other inorganic possibilities. Hmmm… o_O Also worth a look up: the WOW signal.
Anyway,don’t listen to me, I’m just an asteroid. Not even a properly sized Kuiper belt object or planetessimal. *sigh*
Can’t believe how well you mixed the two concepts! =)
Hi Coltilda Jamcracker : ) I heart this post – you rock!
This is funny and I feel, although theoretical, extremely accurate. I’ve looked at this in terms of traffic on facebook and other social networking. The more fame/influence you have the more attraction, pull/ stronger your gravity is. We all have our own close circles of family, friends, employer, employees or our “solar system” in which we are the star, and we are all part of the greater universe or the world. Some stars have more planets in their system than others. blah blah blah etc etc, you know what I mean, nice post.
I absolutely think this was fantastic. Fantastic. I especially liked the black hole analogy.
I thought your Stephen Hawking people as planets post was great. It made me laugh. Your comment about people starting with a big bang called to mind that the universe could end in either a bang or a whimper. I wonder how many of us started with a whimper. Maybe just the Jews whose men beg for four hours as foreplay (ala Dr. House from Kids).
It also reminded me of a nominic I made while taking astronomy to remember the star classes.
Only
Bitch-
Ass
Faggot
Guys
Kiss
Men’s
Little
Testies
They Might Be Giants! Wooo! Though apparently now “The sun is a miasma of incandescent plasma”
. . . and so the search for intelligent life continues, here on Earth. — YUR
My ex wife is from Mars. Love the flower pic of you!
The big bang…yep, that’s how came along. That was hilarious. I agree, though, that we are all our own little universes walking around. Good blog!
That last little bit would not surprise me at all.
By the way, I enjoyed this so much, I put it on my page “Intriguing Posts I have found…” I hope that’s okay.
Have I mentioned! …….. That I love your posts? Just saying
And also, I’m mad that they claim Pluto isn’t a planet! It’s probably the coolest planet the is! Just proves that you’re absolutely right with our personality placement here..
I’m glad that there are more people out there that just adore Pluto. Would you like to be a member of the “Save Pluto” Club. Just send $19.99 plus shipping and handling and you can own a territory on Pluto and name it after yourself. You’ll get maps and documentation and a certificate of ownership. Hurry up. Time is running out. Order yours today.
You’re so funny and thought provoking… went through a “friendship breakup” recently… wish I would have read this blog so I could have called her a “black hole” instead of something else
Maybe you can cast the evil eye on your ex friend and make bad things happen to her. Mwah ha ha.
Life on Mars? Great idea – thanks. Enjoyed this a lot. Thanks for stopping by as well.
I have a chair the universe needs to tend to.
If God wanted us to sit in broken chairs he wouldn’t have invented duck tape.
Why didn’t I think of that!?
Why didn’t I think of that!?
Maybe you did think of it and I used my telepathic powers to pull the idea out of your head and I put it into my own. You don’t remember having the idea because I sucked your memories out of your brain too. Oh, by the way, your boss called and wanted to know if you could finish those TPS reports. Sorry. I think the message might be overdue. I pulled out a few extra memories.
Love your blog.
\
Interesting perspective you have on the big bang. The best of luck to you with your writing projects. Thank you for dropping by The Questioning Way Blog
Well, there’s my laugh for the day and it was a long one! While you are at it please come up with some ideas about string theory and tangle theory but first you have to get into Quantum Mechanics . Come on, You can do it!
AMAZINGLY TRUE! Every word you said, made me laugh with realization! You’re hilariously intuned with whats REALLY going on, or not!
this has got to be my favorite post from you!
Bow ties are cool. You remind me of someone. Very similar, and I get an eerie feeling in my gut.
Love your use of satire! Lol
Thanks for the like! It always amazes me when people like my posts (especially people like you, an obviously a well established and popular blogger!!!!! ) It amazes me that people even find it.
I’m just getting started at wordpress, though I’ve had the blog going (at Blogger) for a few years now. I love the wordpress community. I have to do more looking around at wordpress sites. I bet there’s lots of blogs I’d like.
Your blog is fabulous. Interesting and funny, and I love your drawings. My husband and I love the name of your blog. We laughed
Always a joy to read your posts! And thanks so much for liking my recent post!
Enjoy your weekend!
I’m definitely following this blog. Just read a couple of your entries and you are hilarious. You also resemble my in-law, which is eerie (and eerier if she started scrapbooking too). By the way, how long does it take for you to draw those pictures?
Never really thought of planets analogous to our lives. I suppose I would be considered a Pluto (not too shabby, I’d much rather stay away from the blowhards anyway). What about people trapped in their own little bubble? What planetary force would they be considered as?
That is an interesting topic that you have just brought up about people trapped in their own little bubble. I had always heard of the saying “sorry to bust your bubble” when I was growing up, but it wasn’t until someone really did bust my bubble that I really did understand it. Getting your bubble busted unexpectedly causes a paradigm shift. However, some people get their bubble busted and then blow another bigger bubble and hop right back inside and float around la la land some more.
And the pics I draw, I would say take me about 2 days to draw. I just dabble at one here and there between gardening, cleaning, cooking, hanging out with the kids, and blogging. I so do wish that I could sing, dance, and play the guitar. There just aren’t enough hours in the day for that. One day perhaps. Don’t tell me I can’t do it either. You might just bust my bubble.
If you could hold gardening utensils with your feet, I think your hands would be free to strum the guitar?
You’d definitely kill 2 birds with one stone there.
If you could hold gardening utensils with your feet, I think your hands would be free to strum the guitar?
You’d definitely kill 2 birds with one stone there.
Seriously Melbus, don’t give me any ideas. You’re just going to make me crazy. Speaking of holding things with your feet, there is a movie from the 1930s called “Freaks”. This is a movie about circus freaks. There is a lady in this movie who has no arms and she does everything with her feet. She eats with her toes and drinks from a goblet with her toes. It’s way cool.
Come and visit me if you ever get through all these comments! I have nominated you for an award.
Awesome post! Loved it! Though, I missed who could be an asteroid?
That was great! Made me laugh, but then gave me pause … hmmmmm…….
Love the analogies!
Thanks for liking my blog posts. I’m glad you liked the flowers… Every planet in the solar system no matter the size is significant
Thanks for liking my blog posts. I’m glad you liked the flowers… Every planet in the solar system no matter the size is significant
I think you’re right. Heck. Pluto is the best.
Good for you
Black holes. . .too true. Good stuff here. You should become an advocate for Pluto. Apparently, it needs you.
By the time I got way down here at the bottom of the food chain, I forgot what I was gonna say. Oh, this is damn funny. And put that chair out at the street. Somebody will fix it.
put that chair out at the street. Somebody will fix it.
If I put that chair out by the street, the city will send me a nastygram. Ha! I wonder if I could put it on Craigslist. Are there really people who go around looking for broken chairs to fix? It’s just some cheap chair from IKEA that just can’t take the chaos of 4 little kids. I’d buy nice chairs that are built better, but I am afraid of messing them up. I would like to make my kids sit on the floor until they learn how to take better care of things, but I’m afraid CPS will come and get snotty about that. I’ve already got one of my kids sleeping on a palette on the floor because the kids broke his bed. The broke the frame, and then they slid down the stairs on the mattress until the cover came off and the springs popped out.
This is a most interesting topic and whereas the initial podt wss obviously satirical, it doe cause me to wonder about the hugr, super-massive black hole thst is situated in the center of our own galaxie, The Milky Way. As for me, having read s grest deal about Stephen Hawking, he once was one of the most influential Adtrophycistd of out time, recently somewhat “downgraded dur to some of hid views ; however, he still remains one of throw most forward @thinkers in the realm of space and space-time. I personslly think of him as one of those who helped develop the current theoris about black holed snd from where they originated and how. He is most-assurdly onr of the most exciting physicists in the psst century and beyond! Have you read any of his “popular books , such as “The Universe in a Nutshell?” If you have not, then you may be misding a lot of whar he has ssid about the world in which we inhsbit. “A Brief History of Time” is also one of his major contributions to spsce and its exploration. I beleve that, given time, we will be able to trsvel through space in a more resourceful ways thsr could enable ud venturing out into thr abyss and finally of his theories to be true. He is truly a remarkable man who has provided usveith some clues about the origin of our Universe, some we may have yet to realise. There mat be life on Mars, but I doubt thsy are anything more small, perhaps even an historical account account of how life originated on our planet. But, first, of corse, we would need an ion engine (or something similar to allow for space fkight). In the end, however, Hawking has made some interesting theories about the solar system as well as the universe! Time will tell. I find him a fascinating individual!
Markeabell, Yes, I have listened to the book “The Universe in a Nutshell” and “A Brief History of Time” about ten times each. I was impressed that Steven Hawking has a sense of humor. He has a couple of kids books that he has written that explain his theories. It’s genius. I love them.
lovely….. just a lovely, entertaining read
Wow… your blog is a World of Wonder. Extraordinary and inspiring. Thank you so much for liking my post ‘inner time is limitless’. You made my day
Have a beautiful day. Michele
Love your photo with the eye flowers!
Love your photo with the eye flowers!
Thanks tincantraveler. One of my kids walked into the kitchen holding passionflowers over his eyes and it gave me the idea. My passionflower vines all died when I had my fence built, so I am out of them right now.
I know quite a few “black holes”! LOL was married to one once. whew…fun post.
Nicely done. I also like how you’ve clued into the rock-hard fact that short paragraphs are much easier to read than endless blocks of type. Way too many bloggers miss that important truth.
Great Post ..
Intelligent life could be right here itself….perhaps sitting next to you while you read this .. only we may not have the senses to detect them !
And why could each molecule not be a galaxy in itself .. it is just a question of scale !
I like your take on the universe.
Great post, certainly found more than a few chuckles in there. Reminded me somewhat of Andy Rooney, but in a good way! Thanks for posting!
Cheers
I look like Andy Rooney before I put my makeup on in the morning. Hang on. I was thinking of Mickey Rooney. Nevermind. Andy Rooney is that croctchety old man from 60 minutes. Dear Lord Almighty, look what I’m turning into.
Is it weird that I read that in Andy Rooney’s voice? Dying last year has given him all sorts of staying power albeit in rather strange and relatively absurd ways, this case in particular.
“Is it weird that I read that in Andy Rooney’s voice? Dying last year has given him all sorts of staying power albeit in rather strange and relatively absurd ways, this case in particular.”
Andy Rooney is such a stink pot. I wonder what it would have been like to be his kid. I mean, he’s right about a lot of stuff, and he really brings up a lot of controversial subjects to contemplate, but the guy was a total jerk. Or at least he was on TV.
“Andy Rooney is such a stink pot. I wonder what it would have been like to be his kid. I mean, he’s right about a lot of stuff, and he really brings up a lot of controversial subjects to contemplate, but the guy was a total jerk. Or at least he was on TV.”
I suppose. As an economist would say, a stopped clock is right at least twice a day. As an avid watcher of 60 minutes — despite the declining quality of the show — I find it strange not to have his annoying voice around after every newscast. I suppose I, like many others, developed some ritualistic sentiment for his banal but (thankfully) terse ramblings on subjects which he often knew little about. I guess I finally get to say “Take that Andy Rooney” but somehow even in death, I think he still has the upper hand. If I were religious, I could only imagine him leaning over some table next to some unearthly deity complaining about how he just doesn’t get the afterlife and how it was just so much better when he was breathing fresh air, because that was something he could understand.
I really like the metphor between the planets and people.
The people who think everything revolves around them are “holes” alright… but I was thinking of another type.
But then, as Sly and the Family Stone said, “Everybody is a star.”
thank you made me smile better theory than scientific or religious ones
Cool post! You have a great sense of humor and unique “take” on things! Love the Big Bang reference!
Hey thanks. It’s too bad my mind is in the gutter most of the time, otherwise I might get along just dandy at cocktail parties. It’s also too bad that I never get invited to cocktail parties.
… a gigantic nuclear furnace!
You rock, mama. I love your blog.
Did you know that people are planning a mission to Mars?! You should sign yourself up!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2154336/New-Mars-One-mission-aims-establish-human-colony-Red-Planet-2023.html
It took long enough to get here, and I’m glad I found it. About Stephen Hawking, how would you know he was a renowned physicist if he didn’t wear a bow tie? I like your classification system — I used to think I was merely delusional, but now I realize I just don’t fit into the grand scheme of things. However, I think that rather than Pluto, Nyx, Hydra, or perhaps Pluto’s fifth moon might be more appropriate.
I read your ingredients list noticed you left out wholesome essentials like peanut butter and crackers. Also reading your home page, the fifth of the 10 points notes something that everyone else knows, but you apparently haven’t discovered yet. Helping out around the house is completely unsuitable for children.
I’ve added myself to your list of fans.
This is the nicest explanation of the Universe by far. I loved the black hole part. Nastygram ?!! read this in a comment. You have a way with words Clotildajamcracker.
How do you organize a space party?
…YOU PLANET!!!
Okay I’m done now.
I’ll fix your chair for you
Peace and Love, Mark
What color duct tape will you use to fix my chair?
If you didn’t mind too much, I’d prefer to use replacement wood as needed and wood glue
But if you insist on duct tape, I’d go with white. It’s your chair. I leave the call to you. Call me, maybe, and let me know your decision.