I’m not allowed to say the word “fat” or “overweight” in mixed company for fear of offending someone.
People who are fat, just can’t help it. It’s not their fault, so it goes. Or is it?
Everyone I know is fat. They drink things filled with sugar and lots of it. They eat loads of processed foods. They love it. It makes them happy.
So I say, If you’re fat, just be one with your fat, and love your fat for what it is and just be glad that one day you can spend many an hour going to doctor’s appointments that healthy people will have to pay for with their tax dollars.
Okay, that was mean. Well, a few years ago, I was at the beauty parlor and I noticed that all the fat beauticians had very nice thin legs. It dawned on me, that if someone is on his feet all day, fat can’t accumulate on the chins. However, the thighs and butt still seem to be huge on these women who stand for twelve hours every day.
People who sit all day at the computer tend to have fat chins, ankles and feet. This is one reason, why I really don’t like to write. I’m sitting and I tend to put on weight.
Not to worry, I came up with a solution. Just don’t use a chair.
Now I won’t get thunder thighs. But this sitting position is a bit controversial.
If you sat like this in the office and people laughed hysterically at you, would that be considered bullying, or would that just be your own fault for being too dad gum ridiculous?
Oh you are one humourous woman!
I might be tempted to consider that pose an invitation
great to see you back! “Fat” is a subject that’s best treated with “Silence”
This is hilarious! And sad but true, I actually knew a woman who worked all day standing up (she was a graphic artists) in fear of getting fat! One time I offered her some healthy nuts and she said, “Just give me three because I’m starting to go down [in weight].” The woman was a size 0.
Oh my! You always make me laugh!
They make treadmill desks…I’m not sure most people would use it at a speed to actually burn calories but I think that we have a very skewed perception of what “healthy” is so it makes it hard for people to maintain a healthy lifestyle which is important to weight loss….we also have this perception of skinny=healthy and that’s not the case either….
U R 2 funny! How do you do what you do? Or do you? Are you really U?
I sometimes play with my belly fat when I’m sitting. I find it quite therapeutic – kinda’ like a stress ball!
Thank you for giving me an idea of what to do with my belly fat when I am bored! Woo hoo! Saving money by not buying stress balls cause I got belly fat!
Such wisdom there. I once read, many years ago, of some famous writer–name escapes me–who had arthritis to such an extent that she wrote standing up. Bet she wasn’t fat, either. Food for thought, that. I got bit by fire ants very badly this week so have spent hours on the couch with ice packs. Maybe I should have considered writing standing up. I’m not likely to do that.
You just need a taller table. One side of my office is for sitting and the other side, with the drawing table, is set up for standing. Not for a particular reason…I just like it that way. There are other professions you could have for using that position, but it may be more offensive than saying someone is ‘fat.”
Far from fatuous, If I may say…!
Seriously I’m laughing; my big fat bum is wobbling as are my many chins. Um you do look a bit silly but if it makes you happy – fabulous xx
Leave it to RoSy to give TMI ! That chairless sitting is hysterical.
I’m a little afraid that fat might accumulate on your spine if you maintain this pose.
Dad, gum it, yes. I have noticed that I’ve been developing the fatback. I’m going to have to reevaluate my lifestyle.
Haaa !!!! Love ya
beautiful mwa mwa mwa
I know a blind person who told me that in Toronto most of the arms she grabs are pretty beefy, chubby, howevver, they are quite nice people to offer her assistance.
haha that looks like it would hurt.
What I do is I put the laptop somewhere high at eye vision and I’m forced to stand up.
LOL! Skinny people aren’t allowed to say fat either or anything about how many potato chips we ate… My arteries clog just the same as everyone elses. Just saying.
I have embraced my fatness. It’s not like you can hide it!
I just put down my hand weights to comment on your blog!!! A few years back, I tried substituting sit-ups for coffee (not the first cup, but you know, for the fourth cup). I’d take a 60-second break from my desk and do a bunch of ab work… I did help, but somehow, I’ve fallen back in the coffee cup.
I nominated you for the One Lovely Blogger Award http://verynovel.wordpress.com/2012/09/06/the-lovely-blogger-award/
So, you’re back and you’re chairless for a healthy living.
That pose made me laugh the moment I saw it the WP Reader. Good post
Sometimes when I’m working at home, I set my computer up on a few textbooks and just squat instead of sit. It’s super duper goofy looking but I think it’s better than sitting.
Brilliant, love the photo
Hmm…knowing today’s society, it would be harassment. Just check out (if you haven’t) my blog for today…http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/ and see. It’s just on that type of thing (well, kinda, hmm – hey, it’s mentioned..in an off-hand sorta way.)
Scott
lol If I did that all day I would get fat another way..
I want a treadmill desk, but I don’t want to pay for it. They’re expensive. So… I guess that’s that. Maybe I’ll try your version of the yoga chair pose.
That’s awesome! Please would you develop a routine so that, by writing in different positions throughout the day, we can get a full body workout?
What?? That’s not fat on my thighs! That’s pre-muscle.
I have lost over 100 pounds and I’m still fat. I don’t object to the word “fat.” I know that under my skin there are still pounds and pounds of what amounts to jiggly chicken fat. No matter how much time I spend on the treadmill or how many planks or situps I do, it will be a long time (if ever) when I am not “fat.” I don’t eat or drink things with sugar in them (unless someone slips it to me like a drug), my only “processed food” is whey protein (which I blend with almond milk, banana, spinach and peanut butter – which tastes better than it sounds). BTW, one of the guys at my office building uses a balance ball (size large) to sit on at his desk – says it improves his posture and helps him stay fit.
Cute article!
Missed you!
I have a similar photograph taken when I was in labor. However, I was slacking off and sitting on an exercise ball.
Funny! I love it!
Funny as always.
You just reminded me about The Fat Controller from Thomas and how (I believe) you guys call him Sir Topham Hatt because you can’t go around saying fat – even though he’s fat. But he’s not called Fat because he’s fat anyway.
I have put on weight over the last few years due to a very serious medical condition. it is called meuseatustomuchusand situs downus. I just blame my thyroid and eat a donut. However, due to a breakthrough treatment called closeyourstinkingpieholeandgotothegym, I am noticing a marked difference. I have been thin. I was fat. The difference? My choices. See, now everyone can be mad at me instead of you lol
I’m a comfort eater, although being fat brings me no comfort at all. I hate it when fat people refuse to call themselves fat. They use words like ‘cuddly,’ or ‘more to love,’ or even ‘curvy,’ which is technically true but really they’re just scared to admit that they’re fat. I always say I’m fat. Not curvy or cuddly (although yeah I’m very cuddly) but fat. That’s what it’s made of and that’s what it is. I used to know a gal who must’ve been well over 20 stone and she always referred to herself as ‘tubby.’ I used to think ‘WTF?’
Agreed.
Lol. Apparently there are desks you can buy where they’re specifically levelled to be used when you’re standing. I’m thinking of buying one. Or, I could just stick a bunch of books under the legs of the desk I already have.
There are lots of news articles floating around lately about how much better it is if you stand instead of sit, or at least move around some. Sounds sensible to me! That being said, I’m fearful of the trend being abused by some over-eager boss: “Good news, everyone! I’ve had all your chairs recycled and your desks raised to your shoulders!” My poor old mother-in-law spent years on her feet as the head cashier of a supermarket – she was never but boy did her feet ache. Is squatting the new happy medium?? LOL
Hey! Enjoying your blog and linked you on my latest post if you’d like to check it out.
I also believe that if your fat you need to own it, because you did it to yourself.
Great post and interesting pose!
Just LOL
Is this the opposite of Clint Eastwood’s empty chair? I think it MUST be.
Now could we see that in video:)
I’ve missed ya!
I saw a comment up above about treadmill desks, you don’t have to go that far but a lot of people are starting to use computer desks that make you stand. It’s not so much a fear of getting fat, instead they are concerned that a number of studies have shown prolonged sitting is bad for your health.
The Indian medical science has a good explanation for fatness. It’s lack of love. No one hugs them. So they get fat so that they feel as if they are surrounded by flesh and being hugged. Hug them a lot and they will gradually get thinner. Seems to make sense.
Sorry, meant the Indian medical science of Ayurveda. Lot’s of good stuff, non-lethal.
I would try that in my office, but that position really would let my workmate behind of me wonder what I am doing. And don’t know if it will hurt the knees. Actually I’m slim, it’s just I think sitting in front of the computer all day is really a bad thing.
as i sit here typing this comment i have a sudden craving for a burger, fries and a milkshake…
You reminded me of the urgonomic chair I had a couple of years ago. It did not have a back which was nice, because I never set back in my chairs. Of course the whole office thought I was so rediculous for having this chair. It was actually very comfortable. I also knew a lady that stood all day. She was the tinyest person I ever saw, so I am sure it did not have anything to do with being fat. I guess people do crazy stuff for crazy reasons. Good luck with your new work position.
Actually spot burning is a myth, that has been propagated by women’s magazines and Suzanne Summers for decades. The hairdressers you speak of have a specific build based on factors that have nothing to do with their lifestyle. They may have more muscular development in their legs which can make them more aesthetically pleasing. But where fat resides on the body has to do with genetics and your endocrine system, not because they are standing for long periods of time.
Not to mention people(especially women) who stand for long periods of time, in their job, actually are susceptible to many more health problems. Not to mention they are more likely to be out of shape because of the wear and tear on the joints in their lower extremities make it more difficult to exercise.
I am 285 lbs, and in the last year I’ve lost about 60 lbs, I run four times a week, and I play volleyball and soccer competitively still. Even when I was at my heaviest I was still in much better shape than probably you are. I lost my weight because my doctor and I identified a health problem which was causing my adrenal glands to over secrete specific chemicals. Once I adjusted my diet to remedy this hormonal imbalance the weight started coming off. With this said, based on my muscle mass even when I was playing high level sport I was about 235 lbs and I my body never looked particularly amazing.
I know that the majority of people who are over weight are that way because of their diet and lack of exercise. But I lived at 340 or so pounds for about five years and because I was building a career I didn’t focus on my weight when I should have(and I was doing all the right things). Do you think maybe people who are over weight don’t seek help because people like you make fun of them and them and then patronize them with stupid ideas?
You packed a lot of good stuff in there – but Clotilda isn’t making fun of fat people, she’s making fun of herself.
Anyhoo – the issue you didn’t touch on is the sheer amount of self-deception that people who are ‘circumferentially challenged’. There’s always a reason why they are so big (big bones, hormones, glandular problems, etc). But humans are wired to eat, it’s just that food has become so cheap and omnipresent that people just eat and eat, and eat!.
The other construct of course is ‘I could lose this weight if I really wanted to’. Here is a little story – my daughter has lost 20 kilos in weight (44 lbs) in 4 months. I think she is now around 65 kilos in weight She’s under medical supervision and eats 800 calories a day – every day. I cannot imagine 99.9999% of the population even contemplating such a thing, the sheer grit alone is missing in most people.
So – eat, enjoy, die young! Why not?
Ha ha ha! Fat is Fat does. Me I am watching my weight go up until the blissful day when I can go buy my first Little Rascal and ride around town wearing my moo moo.
BTW, the chair-less thing would be more effective if you turn that pose into squats. Que no?
I just did that…haha i swear not longer than ten seconds…haha
Yup…you ARE oddball
But funny too!
There are a lot of set-ups now for standing desks, and we have a couple of the large yoga balls in the office, which are a little more active than a plain ol’ chair.
I nominated you for a bunch of awards, check it out here: http://wp.me/p20576-1b8
Funny! There’s no way I’m doing this at work. (Is it strange that I’m tempted to try it at home, though?)
wow hilarity ensues
You know Hemingway used to write standing? There are pictures of him in that pose at Finca Vigía, his house in Havana. I read somewhere he said that he prefered to stand because he was so energetic. But still, he needed to write with discipline, so he did it everyday, like a ritual. Not necessarity some text with sense, but even disconnected sentences, random words, because he believed if inspiration would show up, it had to catch him working, in front of his typewriter.
How important it is for us to take care of ourselves while at the same time accepting ourselves for who we are,
Hahah! This is great!
Very funny! The picture is priceless.
Hahaha! Thanks for the Monday morning smile.
I don’t worry too much about the word “fat”. I remember reading an article about Boy George around the time Helen Terry became their semi-permanent backing singer; he said something along the lines of how they got along great “because she’s fat and funny-looking, and I’m fat and funny-looking”. I think it ultimately comes down to self-acceptance. If you are comfortable with yourself (or have at least made peace with yourself), “fat” cannot become a pejorative term.
Hahahaha … does this mean that if you balanced on your head your brains would get bigger?
I am honored to nominate you for the One Lovely Blog Award! Please pick-up your award at http://reddolls.wordpress.com . Copy and Paste the Award to your blog and follow the rules of acceptance. Happy Blogging and congratulations!!
This is funny, but so true. I think I should try this, removing my chair when typing in the computer. Might help me lose weight! I love the picture. It made my day.
Hilarious!!! :”D
Hahaha I wonder if it works.
Haha..seems a great ordeal! prefer writing sitting in peace and running 4 miles per day to avoid thunder thighs!
I have nominated you for the Liebster Blog Award
http://neglectedspace.wordpress.com/2012/09/13/liebster-blog-award/
HAHAAAAAA!!! I love this! You are right about where the fat goes. I’ve been noticing my legs and ankles swelling a LOT lately when I sit at the computer for too long. But my problem is EDEMA, not fat. But I am fat as well. Not morbidly obese mind you, but I need to shed 75 pounds!
Here’s something for you. Three years ago, I had to have my gall bladder removed. I didn’t have stones. It was just not pumping. So out it came. The 2 year aftermath was horrific. I couldn’t eat anything! I was reduced to boiled chicken, fish, potatoes and carrots pretty much. If I wanted a snack, I could only eat a handful of pretzel sticks. Anything else escaped my body within 15 minutes.
As a result, I lost a load of weight. 75 pounds to be exact. Even though I sat at a computer, my body still shed the pounds. But that was because I was sick.
About a year ago, I was able to gradually add more variety to my diet without suffering the ‘consequences’. I still sat at my computer for writing and research. I also started drinking beer. Mistake #1! I knew beer had carbs, but good GRIEF did I pack the pounds back on!
I recently saw a repeat of Dr. Oz while at a doctor appointment, and the epidose was about women’s BIG BUTTS! I couldn’t help but laugh, as I watched these women stand in front of the camera in spandex shorts and sports bras. One of the things that Dr. Oz mentioned was that women who tend to sit a lot, do in fact have bigger butts, as opposed to double chins and flabby legs and arms. In his words, “When you sit, the fat has to go SOMEWHERE!”, hence the ‘shelf’ that women have.
I feel so glad to share this award with you as I so love your blog.
‘One Lovely Award for One Lovely Blog’
Please pick it up from my blog – http://ashaseth.wordpress.com/2012/09/13/spreading-smiles/
-Asha Seth
Great technique!
former u.s. secretary of war donald rumsfeld used to use something called a “standing desk,” which might put less strain on your back. and not to sound too coarse, but the writing posture you’re using, if employed at an office, might invite either your boss or a co-worker to literally come up and kick you in the butt, which would mess up your typing, to say the least. i’ve succumbed to physical fatness myself. sign me up for a super-sized extra-jumbo walmart coffin! (supposedly robert earl hughes, weighing in at over a thousand pounds as the fattest man in the world in the guinness book of world records back in the seventies, was so unwieldy he had to be buried in a piano case. gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “piano man.”) maybe the maggots that consume my wasted flesh will wax obese themselves. join the ever-expanding club!
Sorry my back wouldn’t take that position for long but I promise faithfully to get up from the chair and chase the dog around th back yard… at least once a week.
I am in my later 60′s suffer with BP and cholestral take 3 tabs aday like my petanca friends – its a male thing here – and write about wine. Ah what the hell, I’m happy and tubby
i’m so glad you’re back! i’ve been offline for a while and it’s been nice but the day i got back online wouldntcha know it? i was nominated with some awards. you’re great, you’re established and i love your style and you’ve probably been awarded these things dozens of times, but i want more people i know to know about you so i’m awarding you the “Versatile Blogger” award. participate if you wish; it’s a little creepy-chain-maily, so don’t if you’re busy with a real life … like i was before i had the awards bestowed upon me. i’d not participate but i’m actually having a good time with the award today; soon it will be over and i will be able to write other things. i hope you are well. you know in yoga, that’s called “air chair” (and something in sanskrit which i can’t remember.) -molly
I’ve nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award! Check out the link here:
http://wp.me/p1Sq6m-72 Have fun!
Entertaining, and interesting writing and art.
I like the 10 bullets video.
I just nominated you for the Super Sweet Blogger Award.
I like that idea! Better yet, I can use an exercise ball. Then, I can work abs and core between calls. I work at my home office. If the dogs laugh, I care not.
Hey, I’ve nominated you for the Lovely Blogger Award! Good luck!
http://postcone.wordpress.com/
Your back, great! Where be your follow button?
lol If you get odd looks You could tell people you’re sitting in a state of “Cat-like” readiness or claim it’s the latest exercise or set it to music and say it’s a new dance craze
For making us laugh – I nominate you …
https://aplaceforpoetry.wordpress.com/
Start using a chair again. It seems to have affected your output.
It certainly would be a work out… however, I have read that if you sit on a work out ball (you know, those ones that you inflate?), you could manage to stay in fairly good shape…
I can’t quite figure out why standing would keep fat off your chin…Maybe I’m doing it wrong?
I’m going to start balancing all my weight on my fingers. I’ll be overweight, but I’ll have great fingers.
Great bum!!!! Best wishes, Robert
Rock on (though you could just get a standing desk, or kneel… =p
hahahahaha!!!
that’s funny too
lol
if i try to sit like this, then just after 5 minutes I will be tired and fall on the floor
HI. I have nominated you for the Lovely Blog Award. Please visit my blog for more information. Thanks. http://www.positiveboomer.net Renee
sit on an exercise ball!! – great for posture, core stability, balance, spine alignment, digestion and burns more calories than a chair!
Ohhhhh, I’m laughing my FAT ass off over here!
I have always thought that the fat is the enemy! I loved that post
Fat? What is that? I find bike riding 6000 miles a year works for me, it is however neither a quick nor easy fix, it is definitely effective. You sure that posture is good for your back?
Thank you for making my laugh! I saw you listed on Auntie Em’s and I just finished cracking up a video she posted on October 7…. Not funny like yours but, a real solution to the working at computer problem, see:
http://whitebrickhouse.wordpress.com/category/health-and-fitness/
This is hilarious you are awesome!
Sept. 6 is a long time ago.. I hope everything’s okay, and I double-hope to see you posting here again.
Wowza! Where you been, Whackadoodle??? Yer uncle has missed you. — YUR
I have nominated your blog for Beautiful Blogger Award. If you want to accept the award check my blog, http://frombraintobrush.com/2012/10/20/the-beautiful-blogger-award/
Hey, missing your posts. Need a fix.
You presented a touchy topic with humor.
Love the pic – haha.
What happened to clotildajamcracker?
You go girl! If you are into tightwadding and humor, you must check out Brian J. Foley’s A New Financial You in 28 Days: A 37 Day Plan: http://www.amazon.com/Financial-Days-37-Day-Plan-ebook/dp/B005BH9P8K/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352306016&sr=8-1&keywords=A+New+Financial+You+in+28+Days
OK. This is one of the funniest post I’ve read. Awesome and creative solution for the fat epidemic. I will try this at work! hahahha
Very creative and funny. Thanks for checking my article out today and liking it.
I DONT THINK MY REPLIES EVEN FEATURE ON WEBSITES…
Haha. Imagine being a wheelchair user. Doomed for a fat chin, feet, and ankles.
Sorry, I should clarify, I’M a wheelchair user.
lmaoooooo love that pic, goes so perfectly with the posting!
Your blog is very creative, love it.
Loved your story. It’s a real hoot!
Thanks for visiting my blog. I’ll drop in again.
Where the heckles you bin, Freckles? I checked for you for weeks. Figured the old man thought he’d put an end to this nonsense . . . you pretended to be submissive . . . then you pulled the old *burning bed* business on him. You were tried AND convicted, sent off to Skyview, and then you were featured on 48 Hours – professing your innocense. So, when and how did you get out, kid? Overturned on some technicality?
—YUR
Fat is something that you earn, it is not just given to you, maybe it should be a competition it the Olympics?
Thanks for stopping by my blog! Love funny!
Gee wish I had known it was that easy to avoid a fat chin years ago. Loved it!
I always stop by your blog when I need a pick-me-up giggle, so I’ve nominated you for the Sunshine Award. Here are the rules: http://compassandquill.com/2012/11/11/sunny-with-a-chance-of/
Haha I am not sure if you are serious about the no sitting rule, but this post is funny!
Oh, I only do the no sitting rule on some days. I actually have my computer up on a high table so I type easier without being arrested by the ergonomics police.
As an old colleague of mine once said, ‘there were no fat people in Auschwitz’. This was not meant to cause offence, just to point out that you only get fat by eating, and not moving about. All that stuff about glands, and hereditary genes, is just claptrap. Good points, and well presented as always. Pete.
Thanks for liking one of my quips and for sharing your thoughts and humor. Hope something else I write suits your interests and/or concerns. Ernest Hemingway wrote standing up and triple-spaced between words.
I love your elephants…great symbols for almost anything. Thank you for stopping by.
Pissed meself. Just love it!
The photo was a killer, but “be one with your fat” made me laugh the hardest– sublime! : )