I have these really annoying neighbors that always seem to be poking their noses over my back fence and coming over to tell me that my children are too noisy or that they are yelling curse words in the street or being victims of acorn chucking thugs in the street.
You know the type, they make up stories about me and spread nasty rumors around the neighborhood about me that have no basis on reality.
Anyway, I couldn’t help but notice today that there was a moving van parked in front of their house for a couple of hours. It wasn’t a nice kind of moving van that rich people use, it was a budget moving van, and a small one at that.
I have been on my knees day and night praying to my dear lord and savior begging for his divine mercy… begging him to make those pesky good for nothing scoundrels move back to Oklahoma where they came from.
Thats why they are so horrible, it’s because they’re from Oklahoma, you know.
I wonder if it would be prudent to march over there with a clipboard and start asking questions, because I am just dying to find out if they are really moving away.
I mean, they do this sort of thing to me all the time, I might as well get my kicks, right. so I made up a list of questions to ask them when they answer their door.
1. Are you moving away?
2. Why was there a moving van parked outside your house?
3. Are you having marital problems?
4. Is it about money?
5. Are you having financial problems.
6. Tell me how much money you make annually and all your expenses and I will help you out with your budget. I’m really good with money.
I bet the wife left the husband. He’s a nasty fellow that suffers from anger management problems.
Actually, I think that the husband killed the wife and stuck her in the Budget moving van and checked the van out under my name. I hear he works for the CIA, he has connections.
I bet they are moving away because they were really offended by the ten foot fence we put up between our house and theirs. Maybe they are depressed because they have lost their only source of entertainment.
I’m going to go ask them what’s going on. If I’m not back in 5 minutes, call Budget moving van rentals and ask them to check their storage units for dead bodies.
pretend you don’t know what he did with the body for your own safety. Or if he has alot of money, ( from your questionnaire ) let him know and ask for hush money. Or if you liked his dog, you could ask for a hush puppy.
glad you’re back
I hate the neighbor’s yappy little dog. Every time I get near the back fence where our yards touch, he starts barking and it totally freaks me out. That stupid terrier ate our last fence, but do I ever complain? Nope. I don’t say a word.
self restraint and control, virtues both ( smile ) — but I fear that little terrier may be skewered in a future post ?
Can’t wait to hear what the answers to the questions are!
There is a strange car parked in the driveway today, and I haven’t seen the wife’s car in a while, now that I think of it. I am going to have to bust out the binoculars. It’s too bad that we don’t live in the age of party lines.
I am cracking up laughing because I am in the midst of a neighbour situation and I’m on a farm!
Haha I feel you’re pain! We have one in the apartment upstairs, gave us a note saying we owe half the water bill… I would pay but his bill is for July 1st to Oct 1st Nice one! We moved in Oct 1st so guess what he can do with his water bill?! lol
HAHAHAAHHAHHAAAAAAAA! Love this!
Send them a pair of ear plugs
Thats neighborly! Start your own fantastic rumours!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA great
Brilliant
you inspired my own neighbourly blog post.
Send the moving truck over to my neighbor’s house. I won’t even ask him questions. I’ll just wave good-bye.
I love the laughter and sound of children, but the humor is so great! Since it seems your children are bothersome and they can’t do anything right, maybe they’d like your list of questions. If you’re not back maybe he hired a different moving van! I’ll call U-haul and check for missing people!
I love you!
ahahahaha… lmao..
the lord hath said love thy neighbor but not exactly “love thy neighbor to death”
I mean really sounds like you’d be doing the broader community a favor.
You’ve reminded me of a neighbor story that I should write about some day soon. Laughing so loud on a cloudy, rainy, gloomy day! Thanks!
Ahhhh the dreaded neighbor situation…I grew up sandwiched between two drama mamas and the one to the right of us was the worst. She and my mother never got along. At one point she hired some kid to climb over the fence separating our backyards to cut down a sycamore tree in our yard! Yes our tree! And the kid did it; she made sure we weren’t at home when it happened. She tried to steal my cat and her cats steal my parents’ cats’ food. Yes…this is STILL going on…and has been going on for 23 years. 23 years!
Currently as an adult with my own husband, kids, and dog, we are house hunting and living in an apartment. Neighbors last night were playing music so loudly we could hear the lyrics. We banged on the wall for them to turn it down and they did. We immediately understood why they had the music up…if you get my drift. GROSS.
Reading this has sadly reminded me that even though soon we will have a house where we can’t hear other people’s babies screaming…or couples having “relations”…or dealing with neighbors who walk like elephants over our heads at 3 am…or having other people’s headlights shine into our bedroom at night…we will still have to deal with people who don’t like us for no other reason than the fact that we built a fence!
Gotta love neighbors…not! Like the ten foot fence idea…
Reblogged this on prayingforaspouse.
Hi, I’ve nominated you for The Beautiful Blogger Award!
Don’t worry you aren’t obligated to take part, but if you decide to, the rules for the award can be found here: http://nettrobbens.com/2012/11/14/steppin-out-with-the-beautiful-blogger-award/
I have just nominated you to the Sunshine award see here…
http://utesmile.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/sunshine-another-award-woohoo/
love your posts
Ha, ha, ha! What we all wish we could say. . .
Hi,
Thanks for visiting and click like in my blog the other day.
Hope you enjoy and get benefit from it
Cheers
You are such a nutter and always great for a smile! Happy weekend to you!
Okies! The worst of the worst. Of course they become that way by living with Arkies. Ya gotta luv’em.
People from Oklahoma are bad because they live with people from Arkansas? Is that true. Oh wait, hang on. I was born in Arkansas. Should I be insulted or should I keep that part of my life a secret? > Date: Sat, 17 Nov 2012 15:16:31 +0000 > To: jamcracker@hotmail.com >
Being born there is nothing, Per Obomba. As long as you want to be, then you are. High cheekbones? You are native American.
Now, click your heels three times…
I think I have some native american ancestors.
I will be nominating you for an award tomorrow on my post.
Rules will be there. Congrats!
Scott
Good lord! The worst thing about neighborhoods are the neighbors. I hope they aren’t moving my way!
Ha ha great stuff, can’t wait for next weeks episode!!
Like it or not, I’m nominating your blog for the Very Inspiring Blogger award. Details are over on my blog: http://jeffreyhowe.wordpress.com/
In the immortal words of Bluto Blutarsky: “This isn’t over until we say it’s over!”
It’s been six day! Are you alright?
I’m not the one with a face like a frying pan, so I guess I’m okay.
ahaha. Glad to hear it.
Too funny! Jeffrey Howe and I are on the same wavelength, as I have also nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger award. Here is the link:http://theembiggensproject.wordpress.com/2012/11/19/embiggening-and-inspiring-who-knew/
Pingback: Inspiring Blogger Award | Walking No Line
Ha ha! I just nominated you for the same award! I wasn’t keeping up with the comments and didn’t realize someone had already nominated you. You really do have a great blog.
http://walkingnoline.wordpress.com/2012/11/21/inspiring-blogger-award/
Hilarious!
LOL!
I think you had too much coffee when you wrote this post, but it was really funny. I am working and trying to sneak in some blog reading. I can’t be sneaky when I am laughing out loud. 