I had to have this surgery yesterday and now I have to really take it easy. No lifting anything heavier than a gallon of milk, no coughing, and no hysterical fits of laughter. Okay, sure it sounds easy enough but I have this insane children who are constantly coming up with off the wall things.
So my daughter asked me what a manger was, because you know, they laid the baby Jesus in a manger. So I explained to her that a manger is like a huge wooden box that they stick hay in to feed the cows. She asked me if the cows ate out of a manger and I said “yes.”
Then she asked me if the cows tried to eat the baby. Honestly, how do you answer a thing like that. I had to bite my finger and keep from laughing. I sure am glad that we are all out of tootsie roll mustaches.
Oh don’t worry. It wasn’t a serious surgery or anything. The doctor just lifted my fallen bladder and stuck it in a sling mesh made out of some sort of pig body part. The ear I think, that’s roundish isn’t it. My cells have to fuse into the mesh until I become one with the pig. This got me wondering…”Is this Kosher?”
In the Jewish faith, pigs are unclean and anything unclean is called “trife.” When pigs were labeled trife this was before handwashing, vaccines, anti-biotics, and modern sterilization techniques. The doctor swore up and down on the Torah that the body part she used from that filthy unclean animal was completely free of disease and bacteria and was completely sterile.
So I guess it’s okay, and especially because I’m just a lowly Gentile, and it’s okay for me to be part trife. But I still wonder if I could have the pig sling if I had been Jewish. There is an alternative synthetic sling, but I hear they have problems with those and the body doesn’t recognize the material and fights it and causes a serious infection.
That which does not kill us makes us stronger, so why would you hold fast to a practice that has been remedied by modern medicine. I guess those poor old Jewish ladies all walk around peeing all over themselves because they can have a pig mesh to fix their prolapsed bladder. Personally, I think that’s unclean.
I learned on a TED talk that doctors use pig materials as replacements in humans because the pig cells are very close to humans. So I wonder if some humans at one time evolved into pigs and Jewish people knew this and made it forbidden to eat the pigs because that would be cannibalism. But I wonder, though, If I can ever become Jewish now that I have this pig organ in me. Do you think they have a “Don’t ask, don’t tell policy?”
When you become Jewish, do they give you one of those past history sheets where you have to answer whether or not you have received a pig transplant? That would be a shame, because Jewish folk tales are so wonderful and I do hope to meet a Rabbi Some time who would tell me some wonderful stories and I am afraid now that Jewish people might not be allowed to come near me now.
I pray you have a full recovery. Pig or not, God has blessed us with the ability of modern medicine for a reason. That pig will allow you quality time with your children. Enjoy God’s blessings!
Thank you for your kind words.
Since I’m still walking on the face of the earth because a pig valve keeps my heart working, then unclean or not, I will always be grateful to that sacrificial animal. It faced a much greater calling!
Pigs are great life savers. I wonder if they put pig parts in life savers candy.
It’s called: “Don’t oink, don’t squeal.”
I am trying very hard not to laugh at that one.
I trust you arre getting along well with your new insert. Very funny post.
I can laugh, and did!
may your peeing now become perfect and faultfree and happy
I am happy when i read your mails and look at those photos of those soveryalive kids
Set your mind at ease. The Rabbis (and there are various flavors, and they don’t all agree, but I think this is close to universal) have decided that the pig parts used for transplants (heart valves, etc.) have been sufficiently denatured. Furthermore, any commandment may be violated for the sake of someone’s health.
You can assure your kids that a cow would not eat a baby.
A pig would.
You have the most adorable children I have ever seen! Although I’m still a bit partial to my son lol The tootsie roll mustache was just genius. I hope you are feeling much better and that you can at least laugh again
Hilarious! Thanks for stopping by my blog TroupinAround! Look forward to reading more of your family adventures!
Hope you recover soon!
I was told as a child that I am Jewish. I don’t know what that means. I’ve read that “kosher” did not have anything to do with “food safety” (i.e., avoiding tricinosis) but simply having to do with obedience for the sake of obedience. If you know better, perhaps you qualify to be Jewish.
I thought that a lot of Jewish customs kept the Jews healthy when a lot of others were sick, like in the age of the black death. Of course circumcision makes a lot of sense. I had this lady go into detail how this was a cruel custom and there was no reason for doing it. She said she didn’t have her newborn circumcised and then later his Mr. Winkie got infected and he had to get a circumcision after all, when he was 10. I think having that done as a baby would be a lot less painful.
I think your family (hmm, you as well) would have me in hysterics!
Scott
OH YES. My parents are indeed out of their minds. Of course, I have been told that everyone thinks their parents are crazy.
There are times…
That does kind of make you wonder. Who in the world thought of using pig parts in the first place.
I hope you don’t lose any Jewish readers or Muslim for that matter. 
I’m lovin’ your blog. Where do I subscribe?
Thanks for showing up in my life.
j.