It’s so hard to get kids to eat their candy these days. That’s why scientists have come up with this
It’s pure refined sugar, disguised as something healthy, so you can trick your kids into eating it.
Here’s another innovative way to get kids to eat their sugar, make it look like sushi.
I keep seeing this in family magazines at the dentist’s office.
http://0.tqn.com/d/candy/1/0/_/2/-/-/candysushi9.jpg
If you make the sugar look healthy, then the chemical structure magically realigns into a nutrient rich food great for the development of healthy cells.
Here’s one that I just don’t get. Fruit snacks are a teacher approved food and are allowed in school lunches because they are made with fruit.
But Jelly Belly jelly beans are made with mostly real fruit puree, and they are not allowed in school lunches because they are considered candy. Perhaps the Jelly Belly company should make their candy shaped like fruit, label it made with real fruit and stick it in the healthy snack section.
This one day, I was grocery shopping with my kids and they were giving free samples of this new healthy snack called pirate’s booty.
The lady handing out snacks went into detail explaining how extremely healthy this food is because it’s made of rice. She told me that these little cheese flavored Styrofoam packing peanuts are all natural.
Okay, well then. Wheat is all natural, and doughnuts are made from wheat and so doughnuts are healthy. Chocolate candy bars are healthy and all natural because sugar comes from sugar beets and sugar cane, and those are all natural green plants. And chocolate comes from the cacao bean, and so it’s healthy. Potatoes are healthy so chips are healthy. Corn is healthy, it’s an all natural grain so fritos are healthy.
People spend a lot of time and money trying to find a new diet. They spend loads of time and money on exercise programs. It seems like the main topic of conversation of everyone I eavesdrop on. Everyone I know and everyone I see just seem to be getting fatter and fatter, and I know it’s offensive and rude, so I don’t say anything, but these people are going to develop serious health problems that can all be eliminated if they would just eat real food.
This is real food
Okay, my dad eats three shreds of lettuce on his cheeseburger and calls that his serving of veg. I don’t mean add this food to your existing diet, I mean, instead of eating mostly bread and processed foods, I mean eat mostly fresh fruits and vegetables and a small amount of processed food.
Instead of eating 90 percent processed food and 10 percent fresh fruits and vegetables, try to go for 80 percent fresh fruits and vegetables and 20 percent processed foods.
You can eat fresh, uncooked, fruits and vegetables all day long and snack and snack on them constantly, and still loose weight. Carrots, apples, blueberries, bananas, these are all healthy foods. A lot of people say that they are filled with carbohydrates that will turn right into sugar, so they just don’t eat them…and then they grab a slice of cherry cheesecake and call it healthy.
However, I have eaten giant bowls of blueberries, tons of bananas, and loads of carrots, and lost weight eating this type of food…hmm.
I used to think that fats, oil and meat made you fat, so I ate mostly bread. Eating this way made me slowly gain twenty pounds over a period of about ten years, and that’s with me not eating snacks, only drinking water, and “dieting” several times a year with diet pills and canned chocolate nutraslim. ( I used to hate fruits and vegetables, but I slowly added them to my diet until I liked them. (I weighed 145 pounds before I had children, and 180 pounds after the birth of my twins)
I have made an interesting discovery. When I don’t eat any bread or processed grains like crackers. I weight 115 pounds, and stay at that weight (I looked it up, that’s actually within a healthy weight range for my height). But if I eat bread like pizza and tortillas, I gain a pound every couple of days.
I’m not entirely convinced that eating bread and processed foods makes people obese though, or overweight. I think that if you drink your calories, that’s what does it. All the people that I know who are overweight, drink sugary drinks, like the happy hour slushies at sonic, or juice, or milkshakes, or the flavored Starbucks lattes.
According to Scooby the body building guy, drinking 1 sugary drink a day can make you gain 2 pounds per month…24 pounds per year.
And according to the Ted Talk that Jamie Oliver gave, heart disease is the leading cause of death in the United States. The runner up is Cancer, and both can be prevented by eating fresh fruits and vegetables.
He makes a point that homicide is way down at the bottom of causes of death, yet everyone is totally focused on that one, and ignore the causes of death at the top. (The chart is easier to read during his Ted Talk…and by the way, in case you don’t know….TED Talk is this convention thing….where smart people give talks on the stuff they know about…I like to watch them for fun in my spare time. My favorite is the one by Malcolm Gladwell on Spagetti Sauce, but that is so off subject.)
http://www.ted.com/talks/jamie_oliver.html
Here’s a video of me making a veggie filled sub for my teenage son.
Oh, and be sure and drink your vodka, it’s healthy because it’s made with real potatoes, and potatoes are vegetables. ( I stole that one from my son).












Sub movie was both informative and funny. Thanks! I will adapt the makings for being diabetic (use my special bread and call it just a sandwich).
You and Bill Cosby! He says chocolate cake is good for breakfast because it has milk, eggs, and bread (flour) in it.
Oh, I totally forgot how healthy chocolate cake is. Do you make your own bread? I bake my own bread from scratch, and I throw in a handful of oats while nobody is looking and call it healthy.
Excellent post! I throw oats into all sorts of things – they can’t be spotted and are heart healthy. Loved this post and LOVE your sequined elephants in the background.
I’ve tried mixing wheat flour into bread and pizza dough, but it gives the bread a biscuit type flavor. Oats don’t seem to do that. Our pediatrician told me to add oats to pancakes to add in a little nutrition. Nobody ever seems to mind and I think it gives it a better flavor than just plain white bread.
Oh, and I’m glad you like the elephants. They’re my favorite.
“Here’s another innovative way to get kids to eat their sugar, make it look like sushi.” I need to get my hands on that. I’m allergic to real sushi so the next time my friends decide to grab some sushi I can pull out that bad boy and be all like, “My sushi is better, bitches!” That would be epic.
LMAO. That’s just hilarious.
Entertaining and informative as always.
Fabulous post !! Very true. I too, loose wieght when I stop eating bread (among other things you mentioned ) Very informative and validating… thank you.
A year ago this January I began a “if i don’t make it we don’t eat it” program. I have lost weight, I feel better and we’ve saved money. It’s just common sense. Thanks for preaching it.
Awesome! High five for frugality and healthy eating!
When I meet those sugar filled foods, I just eat them to remove them from temptation.
Lol. I have a weakness for chocolate brownies and milk duds. So, I try to keep them out of the house. Otherwise, I’m just in bad shape.
Finding some foods without some form of sugar, is almost as hard as finding products not made in China. It is difficult, but not impossible, whereas finding something not made in China that is affordable is another story.
Here at the beach we tend to eat less – one wayward wind and sand gets into everything and makes it all crunchy-gritty. Environmental portion control, I suppose. Great post!
Ah cool! You live on the beach? Do you have a shrimp boat? Are you harvesting your own kelp? I always thought that would be a fascinating past time.
Fascinating, but labor-intensive. Kelp gets in everything, too, but at least it’s healthy.
Great post!
Ew. Those things in the top picture even look moldy. I dunno why anyone would prefer to feed their kids those instead of real strawberries — which are just as sweet and even look like candy.
And, yeah, the carb thing: Once I hit 40, the weight just kept creeping on, and I couldn’t lose it until I cut out carbs — and then suddenly — WHOOSH! — it just sorta melted off. Weird, frankly, but I’ll take it. Every two weeks I reward myself by baking something for the weekend.
Everything in moderation. Eat what you like.
I’ll drink to that!
ha ha YES ! Thanks for the good thinking ! Now I’m inspired to eat a more well balanced diet in 2013 ! Even if I can’t diet, because I just don’t feel like it, less sugar and more veggies ! In my family we joke that the four basic food groups are chocolate, potato chips, caffeine and alcohol.
Marzipan – shaped and colored to look like fruit has always been one of my favorites. Tad expensive though. Beer is totally healthy . . . in moderation. — YUR
Sweet post.Have a wonderful new year.jalal
Awesome post! Now if we could only get the school lunch people on board with it. At my old school where I taught in California, is was pop tarts and chocolate milk in the AM, and “Breakfast for Lunch” a heart killing, fat building pile of sausage, french toast sticks and gallons of fake maple syrup poured on, Oh, and don’t forget the chocolate milk!
So funny!
Hi,
Thoroughly enjoyed your video, your sub looked delicious and very easy to do, it also brought on a smile as well.
Do you want to live forever? After a while it would seem unendingly tedious. I think after a thousand years, I would get bored enough to call it quits.
Dudette, your video is a crack up. Me and my husband are gonna get debt free on account of you and your subs.
Love,
Susan
It always makes me laugh when I see fruit punch drinks that include the wording “does not contain fruit juice” because I think they should not be allowed to call it fruit punch.
And high fructose corn syrup is good for you because it is made of corn. And corn is a vegetable. Doubly healthy! Yay for obesity as the children wobble to school.
Thank you for sharing. I constantly need reminders to eat healthier, and that is my goal for 2013, to reach my fitness goals, and to compete in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu at a lower weight class. Thank you again!!!
Okay. You are such a rock star.
Aww thank you madam…you are too kind!
Reading your post at five in the morning-I got up and ate an apple. I quartered it first. I reminded myself of my grandmother. Thank you.
We’ve loved following your wacky stories and therefore have nominated you for a “Very Inspiring Blogger award!” Please check it out at: http://benandfrancoise.com/2012/12/31/very-inspiring-blogger-award/.
Keep posting your unique view of the world and entertaining us with your ideas!
Have a great 2013!
Staying away from flour and processed foods is so important. Some scientists and doctors are linking heart disease, cancer and weight gain to wheat. You might be interested in checking out a book called Wheat Belly.
I saw two old lady’s in the bookstore looking for that book, they were raving about it.
I nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award!
http://candycoatedturtles.wordpress.com/2012/12/31/2013-here-we-come/
Thanks for the video. With fresh ingredients and that much preparation, I’ll bet that’s a good sub.
I got a sugar high just reading your post….good points all. So ask scooby, if I don’t drink a sugary drink a day will I lose 2 pounds a month? Best wishes for a safe happy sugar free new year.
Are you serious, or making fun of me?
I was seriously not making fun of you. As usual you treated a serous topic with a dose of good humor.
At first I thought you were writing about me! I do have a jelly belly. Great post. I need to get back on track….after a week in New Orleans….nothing healthy there food or otherwise.
I thought the entire city of New Orleans was washed off the face of the earth. There used to be a place called central market that sold the best olive salad in the world. I wish I could get my hands on a jar of that stuff
Yes! They put that salad on a sandwich called a muffaletta, yummy!
High Fructose Cornsyrup is the crack cocaine my fat cells crave… and gravy.. maybe syrup smothered in gravy and wrapped in a won ton and deep fried. Is this a Paula Deen recipe?
I don’t get the fruit snack thing either. Teachers let them pass as healthy snacks, but if you’ve got a baked chip, the snack is confiscated (a fried cracker is okay, though
) Go figure.
You are SO right! I have recently moved to western Panama where there are tons of fresh fruits and veggies grown without a bunch of chemicals, and ripened in the fields. I eat whatever I want of the local food and avoid anything imported, wheat, or refined sugar and it’s been much easier to maintain my weight. The local produce also tastes amazing.
Wow, and I thought I was the king of frugal living! Now that I’ve been dethroned I’m going to drown my sorrows in some high fructose corn syrup based snack. Bring on the Little Debbies!
You’re a very funny writer…and an equally good thinker. I’m going to enjoy reading your blog…thanks for stopping by mine. I’m glad we are connected.
Love this post. Love it. Love.it.
I think you forgot to mention vegetable juice. I am right into vegetable juice.
Coffee is a vegetable, right?
I actually prefer fruits to sweets (not a health freak…im just more of a chocolate girl
) so this may work for me! lol…
Love this post! Happy New Year!
this was a very helpful post but what I wonder is a good selection of foods to fight Prostrate Cancer. In the UK it kills 10,000 men a year yet it is only now being brought into the open anything that can help fight that must be good to eat look forward to reading your thoughts