My name is Lucy, I grew up in Juvy

In July of 1807, Wallace P. Everett of Kingston, Delaware created a reprogramming system that could essentially turn a hardened criminal like Billy the Kid into a saintly demi-god like Ghandi or Mother Teresa .  After nearly a century of scientific research, they decided to but it to the test at St. Guadelupe’s Reformatory School in El Salvador,

All the girls in the study were released into the world and went on to do good works for the benefit of mankind.  All….except one.  But her case was quite unique.

This is Lucy.

When she was five years old, she set her house on fire.  Of course it was an accident.  Nowadays, people don’t leave a five year old child in the same room as  a kerosene lamp.  But her parents did.  She just wanted to see if her mother’s dress would catch on fire if she poured an entire bottle of rum all over it.  It turns out that alcohol is flammable.  It was merely an innocent scientific investigation gone wrong.  Her hypothesis was that rum is not flammable and will keep the dress from burning.  She had seen her mother put out a fire with water.  Since rum was a liquid and water was a liquid,  she assumed that rum could prevent a piece of fabric from catching fire if held over a direct flame.

There is a right and a wrong way to put out a fire, and some things just make the fire grow hotter.  It’s easy to put out a fire if you have all the right equipment and all the right training.  But if you start fire, and you haven’t been trained to put one out, then you better duck and cover, tell a grownup, and run to the neighbor’s house to call the fire department. Lucy knew this, but she didn’t do it.  She was terrified of her parents.  Her parents wanted to raise a perfect little girl who made no mistakes.  They believed that if you inflict pain upon a child for making a mistake, the child will associate making mistakes with pain and therefore never make mistakes.  Drop a dish, get a beating.  Forget that the spoon goes on the left with the knife while setting the table, get a cigarette burn on the palm of your hand.  Spill the milk, get on your hands and knees and lap it up.  Cry about it…get a boot to the head.

It was the intense fear of being punished that made Lucy too afraid to tell anyone what she had done.  She tried to put the fire out herself.  But it turns out that bed sheets just make a fire bigger.  So she hid in the wardrobe until someone came to her rescue.  It’s a wonder she didn’t die.  It was this terrible accident that pinned her for life as a deranged criminal.

When she was 15, she was involved in a scandalous love affair with the teenage son of the president of El Salvadore.  She was charged with rape, and treason against the government.  Her sentence was a five year stay at St. Guadalupe’s Reformatory school.  She’d been to orphanages and reform schools before, but this one was different.  This was the end of the line.

According to scientific research, children deprived of happy childhoods grow up not knowing how to function properly in society.  Bad childhood memories lead people to commit crimes such as murder and scandal.  Lack of love or the wrong kind of affection can cause girls to become ladies of the night.  The only way to fix these people is to erase the bad memories and give them pleasant ones.  There was a team of scientists and psychiatrists who began implementing this research on real criminal youths when Lucy went to live at St. Guadalupe’s.  She was the worst case they had ever seen, and they hoped that if they could change her back into a pure wholesome girl, they could change the world.

But Lucy didn’t want her memory altered.  She thought that she had learned a lot about the world and didn’t think she needed to loose the wisdom she had gained.  However, the only other choice was to be hung on the gallows in front of the city hall, for all to see.  Well, that wasn’t really the only choice.  She broke out of the reform school and went to live on the rooftop of a Chinese Restaurant where she continued her scandalous love affair.  When they caught her, she was three months pregnant.  They kept her locked up in solitary confinement where they continued to perform mind altering procedures that would ensure that the only childhood memories would be of peaceful spring meadows and blueberry picking.

But then one dark night, it happened.  She had to give birth and they couldn’t find a doctor to give her any way to ease the pain.  It was the worst, most gruesome childbirth that any of them had ever seen.  For three days the 16 year old girls suffered in horrible excruciating labor.  The blood and the screams were more than any of them could take.  After days of torment and agony it was finally over.  Lucy had given birth to Siamese twins.

These girls grew up and started the most gruesome drug cartel the world has ever seen.  She would kill parents and kidnap their children and force them to smuggle coconuts.  I know this because I have this Aunt named Dorcas who married a guy whose parents were killed by this lady when he was only eight years old.

Should I say this lady or these ladies?  I never know, they act as one.

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